Your Authentic Self: If I’m Not The Voice In My Mind, Who The [email protected]*Ck Am I?

life Oct 25, 2017

This is a question that has plagued philosophers and religious gurus for thousands of years.

We hear a lot of people ask, “What if the voice in my mind IS the real me?  What if it’s telling me the truth?  Shouldn’t I listen to it sometimes?” The short answer is that while it’s ok to listen to it, just don’t mistake it for your Authentic Self.

So, what the hell are we talking about when we say Your Authentic Self?  We mean this:  Your Authentic Self is who shows up when your Inner Critic is temporarily absent.  Whooaa…’s a little scary when you experience this for the first time.  We’re so used to this voice, that when it is silenced even momentarily, it feels like there’s nothing there.  But, when you let go, and just be….that’s when your authentic self shows up.  And, just as soon as you see it, it’s gone!  You are back to being swallowed by your Inner...

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Want A Happy Life? Become A Computer Re-Programmer

life Oct 24, 2017

I recently came across an article in Psychology Today in which the author discussed a research study he conducted with college age students, who held themselves in high regard, where he asked the students to keep a detailed record of their mental chatter for a 2-week period.

Going into the exercise, the students expected almost 75% of their thoughts would be positive.

What both the researcher and the students were shocked to discover, is that almost 80% of the thoughts they recorded were basically negative.  Unconsciously, it turned out that the students were much more critical, pessimistic and fearful than they let out in their day-to-day life.

Many of us would describe ourselves as happy, confident people.  I know I would!  I am definitely a “glass half full” kind of woman.

But there is the deeper part of myself, that I have to manage every single day.  And it’s this part of myself that runs 95% of my life!  I have a voice in my mind that...

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There Is No Such Thing As Some Day

Uncategorized Oct 24, 2017

Whenever someone is seeking either a counseling session with me or is enrolling in one of my workshops, what they’re really looking for is to change something in their life that is causing them to struggle.  It could be that they want to change something about themselves or particular circumstances in their life.   It could be that they want to fix a relationship, have a parenting issue, or want a career change. The list of what people want to fix or change about themselves or some aspect of life is endless.

But, here is the one basic truth about how to end any struggle.  It really boils down to one simple step.  Practice love and gratitude.

Rather than practicing love and gratitude, we habitually and automatically live in fear and try to control that condition.  You see, most of us go through life believing that something in life needs to change in order for us to feel the way that we want to feel.  Most people have...

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When You Wake Up On Mother’s Day and Your Kids Are On Their Phones

gratitude parenting Oct 01, 2017

Have you ever felt like life can be like Groundhogs Day? We wake up thinking that today will be just another day, just like every other day. We wake up thinking about what we have to do, what we haven’t done, what we are or aren’t happy about, or who we’re not happy with.

We get stuck on autopilot, and day after day, life seems to be the same old, same old.

What most people are unaware of, is that today is not just another day. In fact, we never stop to think about the fact that today is the only day we are ever given. When tomorrow comes, it will be today. Yesterday no longer exists. The only place where our life actually occurs is today.

What would happen if you were to choose, at this very moment, on this very day, to be grateful? To actually open your heart to the blessings that you have in your life right now? How would your experience of yourself, your relationships, your entire life transform?

On Mother’s Day, I woke up feeling like Groundhogs Day.


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The Life of Your Dreams

life Oct 01, 2017

Human beings are designed to avoid pain. When we were cavemen/women, we needed a part of our brain to alert us to danger. We needed to know that if we were picking berries and a saber tooth tiger was nearby, we needed to avoid that situation big time!

Our bodies and minds are literally hard-wired to protect us from danger, by causing us to either run or fight. In today’s world, most of us are not nose to nose with tigers, thank goodness! But, the danger that is unavoidable in each and every one of our lives is emotional pain.

Emotional pain happens to every single one of us, without exception. And when we feel the unavoidable pain of conflict, disappointment, failure, and shame, our hard-wiring kicks into full gear. We want to run away from the discomfort by withdrawing or numbing or fight it by blaming and justifying.

What most of us are not taught, is that the way to truly feel calm, centered, balanced and happy is to be willing to use our fear and pain to teach us about...

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Parenting From Love and Compassion

parenting Oct 01, 2017

We all want our kids to grow up to be successful in life.  So much, in fact, that our Inner Critics often hijack our thought process with “What if’s”.  What if they don’t get good enough grades to get into a good college?  What if they don’t have enough friends?  What if they dress all in black when they’re 16?  What if I’m not doing enough as a parent to help them succeed?

Parenting from this place of fear creates much of the drama, stress, and pressure between us and our kids.  Our Inner Critic creates our own internal anxiety by convincing us that we need to “make sure” that our kids turn out to be “successful”.   We focus on measurements of their success:  grades, sports performance, groups of friends, appearance.  We don’t recognize that this is our Inner Critic’s agenda, that it is an illusion to think that we can fully control how our children turn out.


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