Practicing Presence

living in the moment Oct 25, 2017

have devoted my life’s work to support people to live lives that they love.  I teach people how to investigate their lives and learn tools for them to be happy, to feel empowered, fulfilled and content.

By age 9, I was already aware that I was struggling to feel more comfortable in my own skin.  I had loving parents, close friends, and yet I struggled with feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, and fear.   I suffered feelings of not belonging, and that I was not as well liked as I believed I should have been.

What I didn’t understand at the time, was that my mind was in a constant stream of endless thought.  Experts estimate that the mind thinks between 60,000 – 80,000 thoughts a day. That’s an average of 2,500 – 3,300 thoughts per hour. And these thoughts are automatic, habitually evaluating, judging, and categorizing everyone and everything we encounter.   Our automatic stream of thought is forever searching, but what...

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Extraordinary Relationships Over The Holidays

relationships Oct 25, 2017

It’s the holiday season, and stress and holidays often go hand in hand. Shopping, decorating, end of the year deadlines at work, and family planning can often leave us feeling impatient, cranky, and in some cases, downright depressed.  This added stress can often result in tension and conflict, old wounds can resurface, and relationships can breakdown.

In my relationship counseling practice, holiday seasons are my busiest time of the year.  Breakdowns abound with spouses, children, and extended family members.

Here are 4 ways to avoid the pitfalls and enhance your ability to have relationships that are loving and connected:

1.     Take Responsibility for the Quality of Your Relationship.  Most of us are conditioned to blame something or someone else for how we are feeling.  When relationships come under stress, we often want to fix or change something about another in order to feel better about ourselves, or blame someone else for causing the...

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Who Gives A F*@#K If You’re Scared?

self Oct 25, 2017

How would your life change if you actually learned to like yourself?

Even if you have what looks like a really great life: great family, friends, a good job, why is it that deep inside, you feel restless, as though something is missing?

Why is it that most of the time, you don’t feel the way you want about yourself or your life?  No matter how much it looks to the world like you are doing great, on the inside, you feel like shit.  You compare yourself to others, feel like you don’t measure up, beat yourself up, and you’re probably sick and tired of feeling like no matter what life looks like, this isn’t it!

Here’s how learning to like myself started for me:  I spent much of my adolescent and early adult life struggling to find inner peace.  On all fronts, I had a fantastic life.  I had loving parents, wonderful friends, good health, boyfriends, and a good job.  Why, then, did I frequently feel I was just not “good...

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Your Relationships Determine The Quality Of Your Life

relationships Oct 25, 2017

Ok, I will admit it.  I am addicted to healthy relationships.  When my relationships with my husband, kids, parents, and friends are all thriving, I am thriving.  And when any one of those relationships are out of whack, I am completely off center in my life.

I became a relationship expert because I truly believe that the quality of our lives is determined by the quality of our relationships.

But, what most people do not understand about their relationships, is that the quality of your relationships starts with your relationship with YOURSELF!

Of the thousands of clients I have worked with in my 20 years as a psychotherapist, there is one thing that every single one of them has in common when they are struggling in their relationships:  They’re all waiting for something “out there” to change in order to be happy in the relationship.  Regardless of whether:

  • They keep attracting the wrong people,
  • They’re unhappy with their spouse,
  • ...
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10 Seconds Can Change Your Life

self Oct 25, 2017

I don’t know about you, but when any one of my relationships in my life is out of whack, I am totally out of whack.

I have devoted my life’s work to figuring out how to consistently have thriving relationships.  I am not saying that my relationships are always perfect mind you, but I AM saying that my I don’t have ANY relationships that are consistently problematic.  That’s because because no matter how bad it gets, whether it’s with my husband of 20 years, one of my three kids, my amazing friends, or extended family, I am always aware of one thing:  what the voice in my mind is telling me about whatever is happening.

See, many years ago, through my ongoing inquiry into how to live my best life and be my best self, I discovered this amazing thing:

There is this voice in all of our mind that never shuts up.  It is constantly thinking:  worrying about how we’re doing in life, what’s going to happen in life, how others...

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Healing Your Body Image From The Inside-Out

body relationships Oct 25, 2017

I have devoted my professional career to teaching people how to have extraordinary relationships with themselves and the people whom they love.  My belief is that the quality of our lives begins with the quality of our relationships.  And really, where the quality of our relationships begin, is with the relationship we have with ourselves.

I am especially passionate about empowering women to value themselves and love who they are, by letting go of the limiting beliefs they might not even be aware of, which rob them of experiencing contentment, joy and peace in their lives.

In almost 20 years of private practice, and through workshops which I’ve led all over the country, I have taught thousands of people that it is the voice of our mind that speaks to us all day long that is responsible for most of our suffering.  It is the voice that tells us what we need to fix, to change, to improve, and where we are just not good enough.  I call this voice the Inner...

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Your Authentic Self: If I’m Not The Voice In My Mind, Who The [email protected]*Ck Am I?

life Oct 25, 2017

This is a question that has plagued philosophers and religious gurus for thousands of years.

We hear a lot of people ask, “What if the voice in my mind IS the real me?  What if it’s telling me the truth?  Shouldn’t I listen to it sometimes?” The short answer is that while it’s ok to listen to it, just don’t mistake it for your Authentic Self.

So, what the hell are we talking about when we say Your Authentic Self?  We mean this:  Your Authentic Self is who shows up when your Inner Critic is temporarily absent.  Whooaa…’s a little scary when you experience this for the first time.  We’re so used to this voice, that when it is silenced even momentarily, it feels like there’s nothing there.  But, when you let go, and just be….that’s when your authentic self shows up.  And, just as soon as you see it, it’s gone!  You are back to being swallowed by your Inner...

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Want A Happy Life? Become A Computer Re-Programmer

life Oct 24, 2017

I recently came across an article in Psychology Today in which the author discussed a research study he conducted with college age students, who held themselves in high regard, where he asked the students to keep a detailed record of their mental chatter for a 2-week period.

Going into the exercise, the students expected almost 75% of their thoughts would be positive.

What both the researcher and the students were shocked to discover, is that almost 80% of the thoughts they recorded were basically negative.  Unconsciously, it turned out that the students were much more critical, pessimistic and fearful than they let out in their day-to-day life.

Many of us would describe ourselves as happy, confident people.  I know I would!  I am definitely a “glass half full” kind of woman.

But there is the deeper part of myself, that I have to manage every single day.  And it’s this part of myself that runs 95% of my life!  I have a voice in my mind that...

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There Is No Such Thing As Some Day

Uncategorized Oct 24, 2017

Whenever someone is seeking either a counseling session with me or is enrolling in one of my workshops, what they’re really looking for is to change something in their life that is causing them to struggle.  It could be that they want to change something about themselves or particular circumstances in their life.   It could be that they want to fix a relationship, have a parenting issue, or want a career change. The list of what people want to fix or change about themselves or some aspect of life is endless.

But, here is the one basic truth about how to end any struggle.  It really boils down to one simple step.  Practice love and gratitude.

Rather than practicing love and gratitude, we habitually and automatically live in fear and try to control that condition.  You see, most of us go through life believing that something in life needs to change in order for us to feel the way that we want to feel.  Most people have...

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When You Wake Up On Mother’s Day and Your Kids Are On Their Phones

gratitude parenting Oct 01, 2017

Have you ever felt like life can be like Groundhogs Day? We wake up thinking that today will be just another day, just like every other day. We wake up thinking about what we have to do, what we haven’t done, what we are or aren’t happy about, or who we’re not happy with.

We get stuck on autopilot, and day after day, life seems to be the same old, same old.

What most people are unaware of, is that today is not just another day. In fact, we never stop to think about the fact that today is the only day we are ever given. When tomorrow comes, it will be today. Yesterday no longer exists. The only place where our life actually occurs is today.

What would happen if you were to choose, at this very moment, on this very day, to be grateful? To actually open your heart to the blessings that you have in your life right now? How would your experience of yourself, your relationships, your entire life transform?

On Mother’s Day, I woke up feeling like Groundhogs Day.


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