My Inner Critic's Addiction to Being Loved

podcast relationships Jan 14, 2020

 Can't listen? Here's the transcript!

I want to talk about how our addictions of thinking destroy our happiness. Our Inner Critic is the voice in our mind that is our automatic computer programming in our mind that triggers all of our uncomfortable emotional responses if some circumstance in our life or some person in our life doesn’t match our Inner Critic’s expectation of what it should be.

So if our desire isn’t fulfilled, we react emotionally in automatic ways that manifest in feelings like anger, worry, anxiety, jealousy or fear just to name a few. And there are other parts of our life that we avoid entirely so that we won’t risk automatic feelings of rejection, inadequacy, failure, or in some way feeling not good enough.

Sometimes people don’t even realize when they are avoiding taking action. This week, I was working with an executive who is seeking a new position and was sending out emails to find his new position, only to feel...

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How My Inner Critic Is Addicted to My Self Worth

podcast self esteem Jan 07, 2020

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Hey Dethroners!  This is the first podcast of 2020, the year of clarity--2020 vision.  I am so excited about all of the unknown developments that are going to be happening this year and even in this decade. I know that 2019 was a really pivotal year for me and I know also know it was for a lot of you listening to this podcast.

It feels like there is a shift beginning to happen, where more and more people are wanting to learn how to live life from a higher consciousness where we are living life with a more open heart. We are able to more fully love ourselves and love others and we stop living our lives out of fear and protection.

I practice the DYIC tools every day because it is the structure that allows me to live a more joyful and peaceful life where I am more accepting of myself and of others. I am letting go of my attempts to try to predict, control, or force so many parts of my life. And I for one am thrilled to be on this...

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Why Are So Many People Unhappy?

podcast self esteem Dec 17, 2019

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Hey Dethroners!  Today I want to talk about why as a species, we are actually hard-wired for unhappiness and what we can do about it.  This is why I do the work that I do in the world--because I believe that now more than ever, we ALL need to learn to take charge and become the master of our minds. 

As human beings, we are wired for connection, generosity, and love. So if there is something that interferes with this, this is what creates unhappiness and dysfunction.  And right now, we are living in a culture that definitely interferes with this. A lot of messages we get in our culture, beginning at a young age, make us unhappy, sick, frustrated, unkind to ourselves and unkind to each other. 

Our culture promotes competition and comparison. Our culture promotes people feeling dissatisfied with what they have, always wanting more, and the idea that people are worth what they have or what they own or what they look...

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Why Does Orange Juice Come Out Of An Orange?

podcast Dec 10, 2019

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I love the title for this podcast and if you keep listening you’ll know what I am talking about. Today, I want to talk about how you can change your experience of your whole life with your mind. I am living proof of that. 

I, like most people, used to spend a lot of my mental energy focusing on the areas of my life that didn’t quite match the way that I wanted them to. I remember spending a lot of time growing up focusing on what I wanted to be different about my grades in school or my social life. I got decent grades and I had a great group of friends, but I was way more focused on why my grades weren’t better or why I wasn’t more popular.  This kind of thinking continued throughout my younger life.

No matter how good things were, there was always an underlying discontentment to my life. And this continued when I got married and became a mom. I spent a lot of my early adulthood focused on why I...

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The One Key to Emotional Resiliency

podcast self care Dec 03, 2019

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Today I want to talk about emotional resiliency.  Emotional resilience is when you are able to calm your mind after encountering a negative experience.  Resilience is a muscle that we need to build. So if you learn how to build this muscle, it will take less effort to get over the emotional punches that life pulls.

There is a strong connection between failure and resistance. In fact, failure is actually a requirement that is necessary in order to strengthen emotional resiliency, because unless you are willing to learn from your mistakes and learn how to rebound from failure, you can’t be resilient. If you are someone who lives life believing that failure is not an option, you can’t develop resilience because you can only take actions that result in a sure thing.  

You experience stress when your brain gets hijacked by the automatic thoughts of your Inner Critic.  And if your Inner Critic is in the...

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Failure is a Great Option!

failure podcast Nov 26, 2019

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Today I want to talk about one of my favorite topics, which is failure. The reason why it is one of my favorite topics is that a lot of you listening have designed your lives around avoiding failure at all costs.  And this has caused you to give up on your dreams, keep you from achieving success in a lot of areas of your life, may have you feel very stuck, and also have a lot of complaints about life.  

We have been taught to avoid failure since we were young. In school, you can’t fail a class or can’t fail a test.  That is considered very bad. I think my whole education growing up was about studying to get the grade, rather than to actually learn.  What would school have been like if we had been taught that failure just means that there’s more to learn? How much more fun would school be?  

Your fear of failure is what costs you your dreams.  For a lot of you, your fear of failure...

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What You Can Get From Failure

failure podcast Nov 19, 2019

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Today I would like to talk about how failure can actually be one of the greatest gifts in our lives.  So many of my clients start out on their dethroning journey completely unaware that they have been living their lives trying to ward off all forms of failure. 

Why is that? Basically, fear of failure is really a fear of feeling any negative emotions. Most people don’t recognize that they are spending so much of their emotional energy trying to avoid feeling any emotions that feel uncomfortable. This has them scared to do anything that would risk failure.

At the heart of avoiding failure is a belief that you have to do something perfectly or you have to make sure it will go exactly as planned, or else you will feel a negative emotion that you don’t want to feel. And this is a direct result of your Inner Critic ruling your mind.

When our Inner Critic is in control of our minds, we feel out of control with our...

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How to Be At Peace With Your Body

body image podcast Nov 12, 2019

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This week we’re talking about how your relationship to food and your body is really a microcosm of your relationship with yourself. So let’s talk about your body thoughts--Even if you don’t have issues with weight, this is a very useful topic because much of what we experience about being alive takes place in our body. 

Our experience of everything in our life gets processed through our brain. Anything that happens throughout our day first gets interpreted by our thoughts. So when you’re talking about your body and what you think about your body, you are actually talking about your thoughts about your body. 

As we are looking at how to feel the way we want to feel in our lives, we need to resist the urge to trying to fix or change the outside world to try to fix how we feel.  In our culture, we are taught from a young age that the external world determines how we feel. First, we look to our parents...

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How Your Inner Critic keeps your success and Self-Confidence Elusive

career podcast Nov 05, 2019

Can't listen? Here's the transcript:  

Today I want to talk about a phenomenon I see time and time again in my programs and in my corporate trainings: Highly successful, educated women who are leaders in their field and with their teams, who are feeling burnt out, overwhelmed and tired of trying to be more and do more so that they can continue to prove that they are a valuable member and making a bigger impact. 

So many of us can relate, whether you are a CEO or a stay at home parent. We live in a culture of scarcity that tells us either subtly or outright that we’re not doing enough, that we don’t have enough, and no matter what we are doing and do have, we’re not good enough. 

In my own life, I have to watch out for this constantly. Because if I am letting my Inner Critic rule my mind, I define myself and my worth by how much I am doing and how much of an impact I am making. It’s not my schedule that I need to keep my energy on....

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Why Your Emotional Intelligence Matters More Than Your IQ


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Today, I want to talk to you about why emotional intelligence is the most important thing in determining your success in any area of your life and why it matters way more than your IQ. In our culture, we've learned to place a lot of value on success as being the thing that defines our happiness. And we were frequently asked as young children starting at a very young age, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Our education system focuses on getting the right grades so you can get into the right college so that you can get the right job so that you can make the right amount of money. And we worry about money and about success and about accomplishment. Starting at a young age, we try to find the exact path so as to make sure that everything in our life works out.

And this breeds a culture in which depression and anxiety have skyrocketed to unparalleled heights. Some studies even suggest that the average high school student today has the same...

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