What is Insecurity, REALLY?

podcast relationships Jan 21, 2020

Can't listen? Here's the transcript: 

Today, I want to address insecurity.  Most people have designed their lives in an attempt to feel most secure. Security is a basic human need, and for all of us, we start figuring out how to feel secure in infancy!  There is always a point in our early life where we perceive something happening as a threat to our security. 

You may or may not remember a specific incident or event that made you first feel like your security was threatened but no human being escapes this. And this is the beginning of our quest to control how our life goes so we can feel secure. 

Think about this in your own life. What makes you feel most secure? What makes you feel insecure? Why is it that some people feel secure while they are living paycheck to paycheck, while someone else might feel insecure even with millions of dollars in their bank account? 

Most of us don’t realize how much time we spend trying to get our lives to fit...

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My Inner Critic's Addiction to Being Loved

podcast relationships Jan 14, 2020

 Can't listen? Here's the transcript!

I want to talk about how our addictions of thinking destroy our happiness. Our Inner Critic is the voice in our mind that is our automatic computer programming in our mind that triggers all of our uncomfortable emotional responses if some circumstance in our life or some person in our life doesn’t match our Inner Critic’s expectation of what it should be.

So if our desire isn’t fulfilled, we react emotionally in automatic ways that manifest in feelings like anger, worry, anxiety, jealousy or fear just to name a few. And there are other parts of our life that we avoid entirely so that we won’t risk automatic feelings of rejection, inadequacy, failure, or in some way feeling not good enough.

Sometimes people don’t even realize when they are avoiding taking action. This week, I was working with an executive who is seeking a new position and was sending out emails to find his new position, only to feel...

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Why Your Emotional Intelligence Matters More Than Your IQ

 

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Today, I want to talk to you about why emotional intelligence is the most important thing in determining your success in any area of your life and why it matters way more than your IQ. In our culture, we've learned to place a lot of value on success as being the thing that defines our happiness. And we were frequently asked as young children starting at a very young age, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Our education system focuses on getting the right grades so you can get into the right college so that you can get the right job so that you can make the right amount of money. And we worry about money and about success and about accomplishment. Starting at a young age, we try to find the exact path so as to make sure that everything in our life works out.

And this breeds a culture in which depression and anxiety have skyrocketed to unparalleled heights. Some studies even suggest that the average high school student today has the same...

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When Your Inner Critic Rules Your Love Life

podcast relationships Oct 22, 2019

 

Can't Listen? Here's the transcript: 

Today’s podcast is for those of you who are either looking for a partner in your life or you have a partner in your life and are unfulfilled in the relationship. 

First, I want to talk about how your Inner Critic plays matchmaker in your romantic life. For those of you who are in the dating world, whether you are single and looking for a relationship or you’re divorced, this is super important.

Most people think that the way to find a great relationship is to find someone out there who is really great. But here’s the problem with that--If you have an Inner Critic that is ruling your mind, you are making decisions in your relationship based on your Inner Critic’s deepest beliefs about you, about other people, about relationships, and even about what it is that you really want in a relationship. 

Because not only does your Inner Critic voice tell you who to date, but also who you deserve to date....

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What Do Butterflies and Relationships Have in Common?

podcast relationships Oct 15, 2019

 Can't listen? Here's the transcript: 

Hey dethroners!  I have been seeing so many butterflies around me lately--it’s insane! I mean, they fly right up to me while I’m walking. I have seen them come right up to my car window. And one day when I was sitting on a beach, I swear there were at least 10 different times that butterflies flew right up to where I was sitting. 

Now, I tend to look for spiritual meaning in my life, so I did some research about what it means spiritually if you see butterflies all around you. And basically, the spiritual meaning of the butterfly is all about personal growth, transformation, and paying attention to the areas in your life where there is a need for transformation. 

I found this beautiful quote that said, “Just when the caterpillar thought her life was over, she began to fly.” And this quote is SO important in allowing us to remain in a space of calm, peace and surrender as we are dealing with...

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How to Design a Life You Love

The heart of the work I do is the MIND Method, which allows you to quickly identify and recognize the thoughts and beliefs you previously thought were you for your whole life. So many of the clients I serve one-on-one or though my group programs have trouble connecting with their authentic selves when they're spinning in those conditioned and habitual thoughts. It's really as transparent as breathing for most of us. 

I developed this method so you can spot the voice of your Inner Critic immediately to stop the habit of listening to it. When we stop this habit of giving energy and attention to it (and thinking that those critical thoughts are you), you can shift these patterns of thinking and design a life you love. 

Meet Your Inner Critic

The first step of this process is meeting your Inner Critic. You need to get familiar with her voice, where she came from and why she's in your mind in the first place. For many of us, these thoughts form very early in our...

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5 Life Lessons I Learned From My Dog

relationships Jun 19, 2019

When I was six years old, my parents agreed to dog sit for a friend's dog for the weekend. I was so excited to be in the company of this dog that I refused to leave her side. When my parents put me to bed the first night she was with us, I vividly remember sneaking downstairs to get the dog to sleep in my bed. 

...and when she refused, I did what any determined six year old would do--I got some kitchen twine from the junk drawer and tied this poor dog's front paws to the top of my bed. (Thank goodness my parents came in and discovered the torture chamber I created and rescued her!)

But, what I remember about that night is that this dog just sat there quietly, loving me unconditionally despite the obvious discomfort that I was inflicting on her. Since then, I have had the pleasure of owning five dogs. Every single one has taught me an invaluable lesson about how I wish to live my life.

Here are the top 5 most important life lessons my dogs have shown me, simply by being dogs:

1....
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Who's in the Driver's Seat of Your Relationship?

relationships Jun 07, 2019

Every day we make choices on how to feel about everything. When we wake up we can decide we are happy about it or upset by it but it is only our thoughts about it that makes it so. For example, I know a lot of people who hate Monday’s but “Karen” thinks of it as just another day. Allowing herself to be upset by a day of the week does not make sense to her so when Monday rolls around she’s the only one in the office who is cheerful.

 

You can apply this to your relationships too. Living from the narrow and distorted view of your Inner Critic in your romantic relationship will have you looking for what’s wrong, broken and isn’t working rather than what’s right, good and already working. You have to make the conscious choice to kick your inner critic to the curb...or at least the couch.

How can you become the driver in your relationship again?

 

There are four common ways your Inner Critic is sabotaging your relationships. I want to...

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Your Inner Critic and Your Relationships

On this week’s episode of the Dethroning Your Inner Critic Podcast, Joanna talks about how to rewire your automatic thoughts that affect your automatic reactions regarding relationships. She talks about how your Inner Critic takes control of your emotions to make you feel like a victim in relationships.

Here are this week’s reflection questions:

  • Where is your Inner Critic hiding in your relationships with others?
  • What’s the impact of your Inner Critic’s messages on your current relationships with the people who matter the most to you?
  • What expectations of your Inner Critic are you currently listening to?

Access our favorite tools and exclusive training in our FREE Resource Vault: http://bit.ly/DYICresourcevault

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How Your Inner Critic Hacks Your Relationship

relationships May 13, 2019

We aren’t taught how to do relationships. In fact, there’s an unspoken belief that we should just know how to do relationships. In this week’s episode of the Dethroning Your Inner Critic Podcast, Joanna talks in-depth about how your Inner Critic can affect your relationships with others.

Your Inner Critic can wreak havoc by trying to control how someone else acts towards you, and making them responsible towards how you feel. That’s a lot of power to give to someone else! In reality, your thoughts are the only true things that can affect your emotions. That’s why you need to check what your Inner Critic is saying about how others are acting.

Here is this week’s reflection question:

  • Where is the vicious cycle where your Inner Critic causes you to take your love away, showing up in your life?

Access our favorite tools and exclusive training in our FREE Resource Vault: http://bit.ly/DYICresourcevault

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