Is Your Inner Critic Being a B*$ch about Spring?

life Apr 04, 2018

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Hey Dethroning Tribe!

Spring has finally sprung!  For many, this time of year is about renewal.  The winter coats are put away, the daffodils are out, the sun is shining, and the days are longer.  Some feel the pull to spend more time outside, clear the clutter, maybe take on a new eating and exercise routine…. get out of the hibernation mode of winter!

 For others though, a new season is reason for the Inner Critic to hyper-focus on what’s missing in life.  The newness of Spring is just another reminder that others are happier (turn no farther than your Instagram feed for proof), everyone is on vacation and you’re not (thank you Facebook), life is just better for that person over there (compare and despair).  Even worse, because this new season is Spring, your Inner Critic jumps right into shoulding you by saying, “It’s Spring.  Everyone loves Spring. You should too....

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A Twist On The Golden Rule

life relationships self Mar 28, 2018

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We are all very familiar with the Golden Rule: treat people the way you want to be treated.  But what if you are someone who feels let you down by the way people are treating you?

Here’s a twist on the Golden Rule that people rarely consider:  When the people you love are not treating you the way you want to be treated, perhaps it is because you expect them to give you what you have not learned to give yourself.

When you have not learned to give yourself the love, kindness and compassion that you need, you can become easily triggered by another’s behavior.

For instance, if your Inner Critic frequently speaks to you in disparaging ways, you may become overly reactive to the smallest bit of disrespect from your teenager despite knowing that this behavior is typical of a child this age.  If your Inner Critic makes you feel like you are not valued or important enough, your spouse’s forgetfulness to check in with you...

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Are You Sleepwalking Through Life?

life Mar 21, 2018

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Are You Sleepwalking Through Life?


Many of us unknowingly sleepwalk through our lives. We have repetitive thoughts that play on a continuous loop.  We listen to the same worries, the same negative beliefs, regrets,“what ifs” and shoulds' and shouldn’ts day in and day out.  When we sleepwalk through life, we become stuck, dissatisfied and unable to see possibility for ourselves.


Does this sound familiar to you?  We have good news! It doesn’t have to be this way.  


“Waking up” to your life takes intention, commitment and consistency.  Taking on a daily practice of reflecting on your thoughts, even if for 5 minutes a day, can break-up your sleepwalking habit causing you to be more awake and alive.  


Here are some targeted questions we encourage our clients to ask themselves during reflection.  We invite you to take them on daily for a few weeks and then let us know what you begin...

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How Well Do You Know Your Authentic Self?

life self Jan 18, 2018

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Yesterday morning, we got a surprise quote via text summing up our work with accessing your Authentic Self and dethroning your Inner Critic:

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.”

The quote originally comes from James Neil Hollingworth, a writer and free spirit who wrote under the pseudonym Ambrose Hollingworth Redmoon.

This quote made us think: If you don’t take the time to access the voice of your Authentic Self, the fear from the Inner Critic rules your life.

But what if you don’t even know what your Authentic Self sounds like?

That you wouldn’t recognize it if you heard it out loud?

That if someone said, “Here, this is your Authentic Self,” you’d say, “Who’s this?”

You may not be on a first-name basis with your Authentic Self because you’re buried under the noise of your Inner Critic.

If we had a penny...

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A Matter Of Choice

life Oct 25, 2017

Life is full of opportunities to make decisions. Choices, choices, choices.

  • Which movie should I go to?
  • What should I make for dinner?
  • What outfit should I wear today?

For the most part, those decisions are relatively easy to make. Much more difficult and confronting are the decisions which are life altering.

  • Do I get married?
  • Do I get divorced?
  • Do I have a baby?
  • Do I have another child?
  • Do I quit my job?
  • Do I relocate my family for my work?

Whether faced with minor choices or life changing decisions, this is a set up for your Inner Critic to have a field day. She can ruin your evening if you find yourself overdressed at a party. She can spoil lovely family time if they didn’t like what you prepared. But much more significantly, she can paralyze your ability to take action in circumstances that will change your life.

She can keep you stuck in mind boggling indecision, undermining any possibility of moving forward, one way or another. She can flood your mind with...

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Your Authentic Self: If I’m Not The Voice In My Mind, Who The [email protected]*Ck Am I?

life Oct 25, 2017

This is a question that has plagued philosophers and religious gurus for thousands of years.

We hear a lot of people ask, “What if the voice in my mind IS the real me?  What if it’s telling me the truth?  Shouldn’t I listen to it sometimes?” The short answer is that while it’s ok to listen to it, just don’t mistake it for your Authentic Self.

So, what the hell are we talking about when we say Your Authentic Self?  We mean this:  Your Authentic Self is who shows up when your Inner Critic is temporarily absent.  Whooaa…..it’s a little scary when you experience this for the first time.  We’re so used to this voice, that when it is silenced even momentarily, it feels like there’s nothing there.  But, when you let go, and just be….that’s when your authentic self shows up.  And, just as soon as you see it, it’s gone!  You are back to being swallowed by your Inner...

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Want A Happy Life? Become A Computer Re-Programmer

life Oct 24, 2017

I recently came across an article in Psychology Today in which the author discussed a research study he conducted with college age students, who held themselves in high regard, where he asked the students to keep a detailed record of their mental chatter for a 2-week period.

Going into the exercise, the students expected almost 75% of their thoughts would be positive.

What both the researcher and the students were shocked to discover, is that almost 80% of the thoughts they recorded were basically negative.  Unconsciously, it turned out that the students were much more critical, pessimistic and fearful than they let out in their day-to-day life.

Many of us would describe ourselves as happy, confident people.  I know I would!  I am definitely a “glass half full” kind of woman.

But there is the deeper part of myself, that I have to manage every single day.  And it’s this part of myself that runs 95% of my life!  I have a voice in my mind that...

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The Life of Your Dreams

life Oct 01, 2017

Human beings are designed to avoid pain. When we were cavemen/women, we needed a part of our brain to alert us to danger. We needed to know that if we were picking berries and a saber tooth tiger was nearby, we needed to avoid that situation big time!

Our bodies and minds are literally hard-wired to protect us from danger, by causing us to either run or fight. In today’s world, most of us are not nose to nose with tigers, thank goodness! But, the danger that is unavoidable in each and every one of our lives is emotional pain.

Emotional pain happens to every single one of us, without exception. And when we feel the unavoidable pain of conflict, disappointment, failure, and shame, our hard-wiring kicks into full gear. We want to run away from the discomfort by withdrawing or numbing or fight it by blaming and justifying.

What most of us are not taught, is that the way to truly feel calm, centered, balanced and happy is to be willing to use our fear and pain to teach us about...

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