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How Well Do You Know Your Authentic Self?

life self Jan 18, 2018

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Yesterday morning, we got a surprise quote via text summing up our work with accessing your Authentic Self and dethroning your Inner Critic:

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.”

The quote originally comes from James Neil Hollingworth, a writer and free spirit who wrote under the pseudonym Ambrose Hollingworth Redmoon.

This quote made us think: If you don’t take the time to access the voice of your Authentic Self, the fear from the Inner Critic rules your life.

But what if you don’t even know what your Authentic Self sounds like?

That you wouldn’t recognize it if you heard it out loud?

That if someone said, “Here, this is your Authentic Self,” you’d say, “Who’s this?”

You may not be on a first-name basis with your Authentic Self because you’re buried under the noise of your Inner Critic.

If we had a penny...

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What Jim Morrison Can Teach Us About Life

life Oct 25, 2017

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Jim Morrison once said, “People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all…. feelings are disturbing.

People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous….Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. In our culture, we are afraid to feel feelings that are not happy. We do almost anything to avoid it. What we've discovered through our work is that some people eat bad feelings away. Some people drink, use drugs, gamble or shop as a way of avoiding feelings. Others just keep themselves very busy, working or even exercising to excess. We spend so much energy trying to keep away from difficult feelings!

We are conditioned to believe that the definition of happiness is freedom from pain or difficulty. We believe that feeling negative or painful feelings will prevent us from being happy, and we should therefore avoid it at all costs.

As a culture, there is an...

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5 Life Lessons I Learned From My Dog

life Oct 25, 2017

I am an avid dog lover and have been since I was a child. I did not own my own dog until I was 8 years old, but I remember when I was 6, my parents agreed to dog-sit for a friend’s dog for the weekend. I was so excited to be in the company of this dog that I refused to leave her side.

When my parents put me to bed the first night she was with us, I vividly remember sneaking downstairs to get the dog to sleep in my bed with me. And when she refused, I did what any determined 6 year-old would do: I retrieved some kitchen twine from my parents’ junk drawer, and tied this poor dog’s front paws to the top of my bed! Thank goodness my parents came in and discovered the torture chamber I had created, and rescued her!

But, what I remember about that night is that this dog just sat there quietly, loving me unconditionally, despite the obvious discomfort that I was inflicting on her. Since then, I have had the pleasure of owning 5 dogs over the course of 37 years. And every...

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A Matter Of Choice

life Oct 25, 2017

Life is full of opportunities to make decisions. Choices, choices, choices.

  • Which movie should I go to?
  • What should I make for dinner?
  • What outfit should I wear today?

For the most part, those decisions are relatively easy to make. Much more difficult and confronting are the decisions which are life altering.

  • Do I get married?
  • Do I get divorced?
  • Do I have a baby?
  • Do I have another child?
  • Do I quit my job?
  • Do I relocate my family for my work?

Whether faced with minor choices or life changing decisions, this is a set up for your Inner Critic to have a field day. She can ruin your evening if you find yourself overdressed at a party. She can spoil lovely family time if they didn’t like what you prepared. But much more significantly, she can paralyze your ability to take action in circumstances that will change your life.

She can keep you stuck in mind boggling indecision, undermining any possibility of moving forward, one way or another. She can flood your mind with...

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The Secret Payoff Of Complaining

life Oct 25, 2017

We all have areas in our lives that we persistently bitch, moan and complain about.  We say we want these areas to be different (“I  can’t lose these 20 pounds!”  “How come there are no good men out there?”  ”I hate my job!”) But alas, these are the areas of life where we just seem STUCK!  We have all of our reasons for why we can’t find the time to eat right and exercise, why a good relationship is impossible to achieve, and why we need to remain in a job or career that sucks the life out of us.

Consider the possibility that the source of much of your suffering in your life is YOU!  Consider that the reasons you can’t change that which you are chronically complaining about, is because you are buying into a story that your mind convinces you is the TRUTH.  We have a voice in our minds, that I call the Inner Critic, that tells us a story about our lives, but convinces us that the story is...

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Your Authentic Self: If I’m Not The Voice In My Mind, Who The [email protected]*Ck Am I?

life Oct 25, 2017

This is a question that has plagued philosophers and religious gurus for thousands of years.

We hear a lot of people ask, “What if the voice in my mind IS the real me?  What if it’s telling me the truth?  Shouldn’t I listen to it sometimes?” The short answer is that while it’s ok to listen to it, just don’t mistake it for your Authentic Self.

So, what the hell are we talking about when we say Your Authentic Self?  We mean this:  Your Authentic Self is who shows up when your Inner Critic is temporarily absent.  Whooaa…..it’s a little scary when you experience this for the first time.  We’re so used to this voice, that when it is silenced even momentarily, it feels like there’s nothing there.  But, when you let go, and just be….that’s when your authentic self shows up.  And, just as soon as you see it, it’s gone!  You are back to being swallowed by your Inner...

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Want A Happy Life? Become A Computer Re-Programmer

life Oct 24, 2017

I recently came across an article in Psychology Today in which the author discussed a research study he conducted with college age students, who held themselves in high regard, where he asked the students to keep a detailed record of their mental chatter for a 2-week period.

Going into the exercise, the students expected almost 75% of their thoughts would be positive.

What both the researcher and the students were shocked to discover, is that almost 80% of the thoughts they recorded were basically negative.  Unconsciously, it turned out that the students were much more critical, pessimistic and fearful than they let out in their day-to-day life.

Many of us would describe ourselves as happy, confident people.  I know I would!  I am definitely a “glass half full” kind of woman.

But there is the deeper part of myself, that I have to manage every single day.  And it’s this part of myself that runs 95% of my life!  I have a voice in my mind that...

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The Life of Your Dreams

life Oct 01, 2017

Human beings are designed to avoid pain. When we were cavemen/women, we needed a part of our brain to alert us to danger. We needed to know that if we were picking berries and a saber tooth tiger was nearby, we needed to avoid that situation big time!

Our bodies and minds are literally hard-wired to protect us from danger, by causing us to either run or fight. In today’s world, most of us are not nose to nose with tigers, thank goodness! But, the danger that is unavoidable in each and every one of our lives is emotional pain.

Emotional pain happens to every single one of us, without exception. And when we feel the unavoidable pain of conflict, disappointment, failure, and shame, our hard-wiring kicks into full gear. We want to run away from the discomfort by withdrawing or numbing or fight it by blaming and justifying.

What most of us are not taught, is that the way to truly feel calm, centered, balanced and happy is to be willing to use our fear and pain to teach us about...

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