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Everyone You Meet is Your Mirror

podcast Feb 18, 2020

Can't listen? Here's the transcript: 

Hey Dethroners!  In my private work with my clients, and in my Mastering Your Mind programs, I talk a lot about what our Inner Critic is addicted to.  These are all the things our Inner Critic says we MUST have so that we can be happy.

So when you begin to examine your automatic mind, that is the mind that is controlled by our Inner Critic, we can see that the automatic thoughts are always connected with what we want.  We want to feel successful. We want to be liked by others. We want to be prosperous. We want to feel attractive. Whatever it is you want, consider that the only reason you want it is because you think it will make you feel a particular way. Even if you want something like world peace, which is a great thing to want, you want it because it will make you feel the way you want to feel. 

As a mom, I want my kids to be happy. Why? Because if they are happy it will make me feel happy because I will feel...

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The ONE Thing That Will Transform All of Your Relationships

podcast relationships Feb 11, 2020

Hey Dethroners!  I have spent the last 25 years supporting people in living meaningful, fulfilling and abundant lives.  That is truly my life’s passion, because I have been on a non stop journey to feel the best I can possibly feel. 

And the ONLY thing that really determines our experience of living a meaningful life, is the quality of our relationships. 

The quality of our relationships is what determines the quality of our life. That fact is undisputed. But most people think that good relationships are a matter of finding good quality people to connect with. Nothing can bring us more joy to life than wonderfully fulfilling relationships. And, of course, nothing can bring us as much pain as unhealthy relationships.  

We define healthy relationships as the relationships that make us feel good.  When we feel loved, accepted, validated, supported, we label that as a healthy relationship.  And when we feel criticized, judged, unaccepted,...

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How to Become a Different Human

Can't listen? Here's the transcript: 

Hey Dethroners!  Little by little, step by step, I am completely rewiring an entirely new mind every day. 

How am I doing this you ask? Well, I am bringing a moment to moment awareness to the voice of my Inner Critic, and all of my Inner Critic’s demands and expectations about how I am supposed to be, how my life is supposed to be, and how my future is supposed to be.  

I am sitting back and paying very close attention to her voice. I am watching her attachment to security and her discomfort with the unknown. I am realizing that my Inner Critic’s NEED for security, predictability and control has been with me for my whole life.  I am coming face to face with just how much time and energy I have wasted throughout my life, focused on trying to get my life to match my Inner Critic’s ideal pictures. 

I am recognizing that I have wasted a ton of emotional energy in the form of worry, discontent and...

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I Had No Idea I Was a Control Freak!

podcast Jan 28, 2020

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Hey Dethroners!  As I go deeper into the work of Dethroning my Inner Critic, I learn more and more about how my Inner Critic has literally been trying to perfect and control everything and everyone in my life. I never even knew how much I was trying to control! For so long, I thought that was the way you had a great life!

Because this is the world we live in: Almost everyone is under the illusion that the way to attain the peace, joy, contentment and happiness is to make sure that your life fits your pictures about the way that it is supposed to be. Find the right soul mate, have the right career, weigh the right amount, make the right amount of money, have your kids turn out the right way, have the right friends, take the right vacations.

I am exhausted just talking about all these things! I was drinking the koolade for so long! So the set up for decades was that I just had to keep trying to force life to fit my picture.


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What is Insecurity, REALLY?

podcast relationships Jan 21, 2020

Can't listen? Here's the transcript: 

Today, I want to address insecurity.  Most people have designed their lives in an attempt to feel most secure. Security is a basic human need, and for all of us, we start figuring out how to feel secure in infancy!  There is always a point in our early life where we perceive something happening as a threat to our security. 

You may or may not remember a specific incident or event that made you first feel like your security was threatened but no human being escapes this. And this is the beginning of our quest to control how our life goes so we can feel secure. 

Think about this in your own life. What makes you feel most secure? What makes you feel insecure? Why is it that some people feel secure while they are living paycheck to paycheck, while someone else might feel insecure even with millions of dollars in their bank account? 

Most of us don’t realize how much time we spend trying to get our lives to fit...

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My Inner Critic's Addiction to Being Loved

podcast relationships Jan 14, 2020

 Can't listen? Here's the transcript!

I want to talk about how our addictions of thinking destroy our happiness. Our Inner Critic is the voice in our mind that is our automatic computer programming in our mind that triggers all of our uncomfortable emotional responses if some circumstance in our life or some person in our life doesn’t match our Inner Critic’s expectation of what it should be.

So if our desire isn’t fulfilled, we react emotionally in automatic ways that manifest in feelings like anger, worry, anxiety, jealousy or fear just to name a few. And there are other parts of our life that we avoid entirely so that we won’t risk automatic feelings of rejection, inadequacy, failure, or in some way feeling not good enough.

Sometimes people don’t even realize when they are avoiding taking action. This week, I was working with an executive who is seeking a new position and was sending out emails to find his new position, only to feel...

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How My Inner Critic Is Addicted to My Self Worth

podcast self esteem Jan 07, 2020

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Hey Dethroners!  This is the first podcast of 2020, the year of clarity--2020 vision.  I am so excited about all of the unknown developments that are going to be happening this year and even in this decade. I know that 2019 was a really pivotal year for me and I know also know it was for a lot of you listening to this podcast.

It feels like there is a shift beginning to happen, where more and more people are wanting to learn how to live life from a higher consciousness where we are living life with a more open heart. We are able to more fully love ourselves and love others and we stop living our lives out of fear and protection.

I practice the DYIC tools every day because it is the structure that allows me to live a more joyful and peaceful life where I am more accepting of myself and of others. I am letting go of my attempts to try to predict, control, or force so many parts of my life. And I for one am thrilled to be on this...

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Why Are So Many People Unhappy?

podcast self esteem Dec 17, 2019

Can't listen? Here's the transcript: 

Hey Dethroners!  Today I want to talk about why as a species, we are actually hard-wired for unhappiness and what we can do about it.  This is why I do the work that I do in the world--because I believe that now more than ever, we ALL need to learn to take charge and become the master of our minds. 

As human beings, we are wired for connection, generosity, and love. So if there is something that interferes with this, this is what creates unhappiness and dysfunction.  And right now, we are living in a culture that definitely interferes with this. A lot of messages we get in our culture, beginning at a young age, make us unhappy, sick, frustrated, unkind to ourselves and unkind to each other. 

Our culture promotes competition and comparison. Our culture promotes people feeling dissatisfied with what they have, always wanting more, and the idea that people are worth what they have or what they own or what they look...

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Why Does Orange Juice Come Out Of An Orange?

podcast Dec 10, 2019

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I love the title for this podcast and if you keep listening you’ll know what I am talking about. Today, I want to talk about how you can change your experience of your whole life with your mind. I am living proof of that. 

I, like most people, used to spend a lot of my mental energy focusing on the areas of my life that didn’t quite match the way that I wanted them to. I remember spending a lot of time growing up focusing on what I wanted to be different about my grades in school or my social life. I got decent grades and I had a great group of friends, but I was way more focused on why my grades weren’t better or why I wasn’t more popular.  This kind of thinking continued throughout my younger life.

No matter how good things were, there was always an underlying discontentment to my life. And this continued when I got married and became a mom. I spent a lot of my early adulthood focused on why I...

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The One Key to Emotional Resiliency

podcast self care Dec 03, 2019

Can't listen? Here's the transcript: 

Today I want to talk about emotional resiliency.  Emotional resilience is when you are able to calm your mind after encountering a negative experience.  Resilience is a muscle that we need to build. So if you learn how to build this muscle, it will take less effort to get over the emotional punches that life pulls.

There is a strong connection between failure and resistance. In fact, failure is actually a requirement that is necessary in order to strengthen emotional resiliency, because unless you are willing to learn from your mistakes and learn how to rebound from failure, you can’t be resilient. If you are someone who lives life believing that failure is not an option, you can’t develop resilience because you can only take actions that result in a sure thing.  

You experience stress when your brain gets hijacked by the automatic thoughts of your Inner Critic.  And if your Inner Critic is in the...

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