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How Is Your Happiness Like the Weather?

podcast May 05, 2020

Can't listen? Here's the transcript: 

Hey Dethroners!  This week in my Mastering Your Mind program, we are talking about designing your future using a completely different mind...and here is where everyone gets tripped up with designing a new future: Everyone wants to find a way to feel good. And most people think that the way to feel good is to make sure that our lives moving forward match our pictures. 

But in a sense, this is what we do when we are trying to design our future the way we want it to go.  Our ability to imagine the future is actually hard-wired into our DNA.  It has helped us to survive in some cases because as human beings, we have the unique ability to plan for the future.  But here’s where imagining our future can backfire, and cause all of our suffering: What if you thought it was your job to make sure it was sunny and 80 degrees outside every day?  That is completely stressful because it’s not possible. 

...

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The Hokey Pokey IS What It's All About

podcast Apr 28, 2020

Can't listen? Here's the transcript: 

Here is a question to consider:  “What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” 

We don’t live like we have one wild and precious life.  We live more like, “Someday I will finally have the life I am meant to live.”  And then we try to solve all of the problems and obstacles that we think are preventing us from living that life. 

And it is trying to solve all of our perceived problems and obstacles, that is at the heart of why we all suffer and struggle. It is the seeking of the answers outside of ourselves that leads to more chaos.  We look back at our past to prevent past pain from repeating itself.  We try to find the things we think we will need moving forward so that we can feel fulfilled and free.  Ultimately, we try to find the answer to the question, “How do I get my future to go the way I want it to?”   

This is...

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The Art of Allowing and The Zac Brown Band

podcast Apr 21, 2020

Can't listen? Here the transcript:

Hey Dethroners!  I have been spending a lot of time this week thinking about, writing about and talking with people about the art of allowing. Here is what I mean by this: I used to believe that I had to work hard, be a go-getter and make all of my life go the way I wanted, needed it really, or so I thought.  I was completely attached to the idea that the direction of my life had to go exactly the way I wanted it to go and the closest people in my life should live their lives the way I thought they should. 

And I had no idea that I even had this attachment. I thought that was the way you made sure life was good. This was such a blind spot for me. I spent years of my life in a lot of intensity, frustration and control.   Can you relate to this? The awakening for me came when I began to create the concepts of Dethroning Your Inner Critic. Because, we teach what we most need to learn, right? I had to see that the veil between who...

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Stop the Waiting Game

podcast Apr 16, 2020

Can't listen? Here's the transcript:

Hey Dethroners! I want to talk with you all about this waiting game that we are all in right now. We are waiting for predictability.  We are waiting to see when we can return to the parts of life we miss. When we feel scared, anxious and uncertain, that is our go-to response. We wait for something or someone to change.  And until something changes, we continue to feel anxious, fearful, hopeless.  

We are all experiencing a ton of emotions right now. And when we feel emotions that make us uncomfortable--like sadness, anxiety, frustration, anger--we tend to get stuck there.  We become stagnant and the automatic thoughts in our minds go into overdrive from one negative thought to the next.

And then we wait until something outside of ourselves changes so that we can feel better.  We did this before this pandemic. But instead of staying stuck in our pre-pandemic thoughts that left us feeling uncomfortable emotions, we...

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The Real Way Back to Feeling Safe

podcast Apr 07, 2020

Can't Listen? Here's the transcript: 

Hey Dethroners!  This week I want to discuss the feeling of safety that we are all trying to get back to. I know that these past few weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions. One minute I am calm and the next minute I am panicked. One minute I am feeling somewhat normal and the next I am wondering if life will ever be the same again. One minute I am feeling love and connection for my kids, and the next I am ready to explode on one or all of them. 

We are all in the throes of trying to deal with our own emotional roller coasters, all while trying to hold onto some remnants of our old life. And nothing really looks like our old life at all right now. We are all getting tired, exhausted really, because we’re trying to find the illusion of safety and predictability and that is not possible right now. 

Now, prior to this pandemic, most people lived their life with the illusion of safety and predictability. There is...

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Managing Your Mind in a Crisis

podcast Mar 31, 2020

Can't listen? Here's the transcript: 

I want to talk about how to manage your mind in the best way possible during this pandemic. This week, I have been offering coaching to as many people as I can possibly reach. I have been running free Zoom groups, going on Facebook live, and getting on the phone with past and present clients.

Now more than ever before, it is imperative that we know HOW to think instead of just allowing our automatic minds to do all of the thinking for us. So right now, you are probably having a lot of different thoughts from one moment to the next. Thoughts like:

When is this going to be over?

How is this going to impact our economy?

How is this going to impact my kids? my job?

What is going to happen to me? Am I going to be safe? Is my family going to be safe?

And you might be having thoughts about our government that are making you angry. So when you are having those thoughts, you are experiencing a whole lot of stress and anxiety. And what most...

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Time For Yourself and the Earth to Heal

podcast Mar 24, 2020

Can't listen? Here the transcript: 

Hey Dethroners!  It is unbelievable what has transpired in our world since I last recorded this podcast. I know there is so much that is changing in our world every single day. I am hearing from so many of you out there and I know that your thoughts are all over the place. 

I know that many of you are feeling powerless and out of control. Thoughts like, “When will this all be over? What if my parents get sick? How will this impact my business or my job?  What will happen to my finances? How am I going to work and homeschool my kids at the same time?”

So here’s the thing about all of these thoughts that we have when we are faced with the unknown: They are all thoughts that are based on the future. This is what our brains are hardwired for. Our physical brains release chemicals like adrenaline and cortisol when we sense danger.

But here is the thing--When you’re having all of these thoughts about how...

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How to Emotionally Accept the Unacceptable

podcast Mar 17, 2020

Hey Dethroners!  Today I am talking about how to get your emotions in check when you are dealing with something that is unacceptable to you. 

I have been working with people for over 25 years so that’s a whole lotta people I have worked with! Thousands at this point so I have a lot of insight about why humans suffer. 

At the heart of why we suffer really boils down to our attachments and demands to the way your life is supposed to be. This is what I call your Inner Critic’s addictions. So in the thousands of people I have worked with, whether it’s a private client, a corporate group, or someone in my Mastering Your Mind course, when they first begin to tap into what their Inner Critic has been demanding and attached to they think their addiction is one thing, but come to realize it is something else entirely.

Most people are not aware of what their Inner Critic’s deeper demands are. So let me give you an example: I was working with a...

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How to Become a Thought Connoisseur

podcast Mar 10, 2020

Can't listen? Here's the transcript: 

Hey Dethroners!  Today I want to talk about one of the greatest superpowers that comes from dethroning your Inner Critic: To become a thought connoisseur.

For most people, life is a battleground, where their Inner Critic’s are constantly fighting to either protect us from pain, or prove that we are worthy.  And when we don’t see this, we are never internally at peace. Our minds are racing from one thought to the next because our Inner Critic has a lot of demands about who we are supposed to be and the lives we are supposed to be living, and how we are going to make sure that those demands are fulfilled. 

That is because your Inner Critic thinks that meeting those demands is what will make you feel good enough, content, happy. But it actually does the exact opposite for your automatic mind to focus on where you aren’t good enough, what you need to change, and how to protect yourself from situations that...

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Do You Have Toxic Expectations?

podcast Mar 03, 2020

Can't listen? Here's the transcript: 

Hey Dethroners!  Today I want to talk about how our Inner Critic’s expectations are really at the heart of all of our suffering.    

I do this work on a daily basis in my own life and as I coach all of my one on one and Mastering Your Mind clients because my Inner Critic’s demands of how I should be, other people should be (and how my life should be) caused me to stay in a cycle of stress, overwhelm, burnout and dissatisfaction.  And this is the way most people operate in their lives.

They live a white knuckle life, waiting for the day that all of their ideal pictures and expectations can be met and then they can be happy. I do this work because I know that there is a much better way to live and the more people who know how to master their minds, the better our whole world will be.

For me, it has been a lifelong pursuit of learning how to master my own mind, and that is at the heart of every...

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