The Moment You Decided YOU Are The Problem

body Mar 14, 2018

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Happy March, Dethroning Tribe!

This month we are taking a deep dive into the connection between our Inner Critic and the way we treat our body.   

What many don’t recognize is that our relationship to food and the way we treat our body is a direct reflection of our deepest held thoughts and beliefs about ourselves, which we very often push away rather than take the time to reflect upon.  

You see, these deeply held thoughts and beliefs began when we were very young.  When we were young children, we were simply pure love. We had no concern with what others thought, and danced and sang at the top of our lungs like no one was watching!  

But then, something happened.  It’s the moment we got hurt, embarrassed, or in some way felt like we weren’t okay.  We ALL had a moment like this.  And it is from this moment that our Inner Critic is first born.  Your Inner Critic voice decided that “clearly, YOU are the problem!”  It’s the only way that a young child could make sense of these painful feelings.  

From this moment, the primary focus of your Inner Critic became keeping you from feeling this pain.  She became the critical, punishing, impatient and harsh voice that won’t tolerate mistakes, imperfections, or inadequacies.  She rules your life with punitive tactics, in the hopes that it turn you into her ideal picture of who she thinks you should be (hint: it’s the perfect version of you!)

These core beliefs drive how we think and feel about ourselves, and how we live our lives.  And, they are also at the heart of HOW we eat, WHY we eat, and WHAT we eat.  A willingness to examine what prompts you to eat when you aren’t hungry provides a deeper understanding of your Inner Critic’s core beliefs that are at the heart of what sabotages so many aspects of your life.

You see, your relationship to food is the window to the world of your Inner Critic!

A willingness to ask yourself the question, “what am I really hungry for?” can illuminate the Inner Critic’s thoughts and beliefs that keep you from experiencing the self compassion and self love that seems to allude so many women.  

We are so used to being ruled by our Inner Critic, we don’t recognize that we actually have the choice to no longer relate to this voice as “The Truth.”

When you learn that you are actually separate from this voice, its power naturally diminishes.  

Here are a few tips to Dethroning Your Inner Critic from the throne of power that she currently has over you:

Name and Separate

Identifying the voice of your Inner Critic is a crucial first step.  Pay attention to everything that she is saying to you. Write it down so that you can clearly hear her voice.  When you are able to give your Inner Critic a name and identity that she is completely separate from you, it helps you can immediately spot her presence, especially when it comes to food and your body.  

Forgive and Move On

It is not effective to try to fight your Inner Critic, and try to either silence her or change what she is saying to you.  The best way to interact with your Inner Critic is to recognize that she was created when you were very young as a way to protect you from getting hurt.  She erroneously thinks that by trying to fix, change or perfect you in some way, you will be impervious to rejection, failure, shame or embarrassment. She doesn’t realize that she is NOT protecting you, and is actually the cause of what’s hurting you the most.  View her as the child she is and muster up forgiveness; remember that she doesn’t know any better. Her broken record of negativity no longer needs to have the power over your thoughts, feelings and actions.   


Break the Cycle

As with any bad habit, gaining a deeper awareness and understanding of your Inner Critic’s tendencies supports you to change your automatic habits around food and your body.  When your Inner Critic begins her negative rants, you can choose actions to take that are consistent with honoring and loving yourself, rather than the habitual actions that are consistent with her negativity.  For example, focusing on the pleasure and happiness of what is already working in your life.

The willingness to turn toward the feelings she is trying to protect you from, is the key to transforming your life.  

Ask yourself this question:  What is the most fearful thing about facing my pain?  Facing the pain just may hold the key to the freedom that you’re longing for.

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