What’s Love Got To Do With It?

relationships Oct 25, 2017

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We all have said “I love you” to someone at some point in our lives; to a partner, spouse, lover, child, parent, friend. But, how many of us take the time to really look at what we mean when we say those three “magic” words? Is it a feeling we feel, a thought that we think, a concept that occurs in our mind’s eye?


For our relationships to thrive, I believe that “love” needs to be a way of being that occurs in our actions, not just in words or thoughts. We may feel that we love another, but are we being loving when we interact with them? It may be easy to be loving when we are happy or pleased with them, or when they are showing up the way we want them to be. But, when we are angry, upset, disappointed or hurt does our loving behavior fly out the window?


Without being aware of what we are saying and how we are acting, we can give ourselves permission to be hurtful, punitive, even downright mean some times. I’m not talking about being Polly Anna who is “nice” or “good” all the time, who says nothing and doesn’t make waves. I’m pointing to becoming aware of the impact our words and actions have on those we love. I’m talking about being willing to find ways of communicating that lead to resolution of a conflict rather than escalation.


Love is not a concept, or a warm fuzzy feeling, love is an action verb. It shows up in how we act toward those we say we love.

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