How to Reach the Next Stage of Your Personal Evolution

podcast Dec 01, 2020


Can't listen? Here's the transcript: 

Every next level of life will demand a different you -- Leonardo DiCaprio. 

And this is exactly what is happening in my life, and in the lives of all of my clients.  As we continue to step into this new version of ourselves, it is not all sunshine and rainbows.  In fact, it feels like the more I am living the life that I set out to create, the more my Inner Critic is going berserk.  And this is why I love supporting people to get to the next level of THEIR lives… because it DEMANDS a different you to get yourself there. 

You can’t get to the next level of your life with the same mind that got you to where you are now.  It’s going to take dissolving parts of yourself that you have been dragging around with you for your whole life, so that you can make the space for the DIFFERENT you to emerge. 

And that is exactly the work that I continue to do in my own life.  I use my discomfort, my fear, my insecurity, my doubt as the teaching tools that they are-- I look for where my old Inner Critic mind wants to continue to keep me stuck.  I look at what I have created over the past 2 years, and I am truly blown away.  I am leading my 12th online group program, I wrote a book, this podcast has exploded internationally, it’s truly everything that I have ever dreamed of achieving.  So, why do I feel so damn uncomfortable so much of the freaking time? 

So for those of you who are really going for your dreams, and you are as uncomfortable as hell, I will share with you that this is actually EXACTLY what you are supposed to be feeling.  It doesn’t feel comfortable!  In fact, sometimes my discomfort is at a 10 and sometimes it’s at 100!  But, remember these uncomfortable emotions are just the indication signs-- those blinking red warning signs-- that you are on the cusp of the next stage of your personal evolution, and your automatic Inner Critic mind is just regurgitating the same broken record thoughts to keep you away from feeling super uncomfortable. 

I created the MIND method to Dethroning Your Inner Critic, which is outlined in my book coming out November of 2020-- and the I step is investigating the indication signs.  My suffering-- definitely an indication sign that I am on the edge of the next stage of my evolution.  And what might be an indication sign for you, is that You have a strong desire to change your life in a particular area, and so the life you want to design is on your mind 24/7.  So feeling good is actually NOT what leads to getting you the life you want to create.  What gets you the life you want to create, is your willingness to take actions toward that life, even if it feels like your life is going haywire.   And this is completely counter intuitive, because our primitive human brains seek out pleasure, and seek ways to avoid pain.  We want life to give us an instant shot of dopamine to our brain, but that only provides short term pleasure.  And if you are hardwired around short term pleasure, you will avoid actions that in the long run will create long term joy. 

These are two fundamentally different lives-- either you are stuck in avoiding discomfort, or you are reaching for the next level-- it could be the next level in creating intimacy with your partner.  It could be the next level in building a career or a business.  It could be discovering what the next chapter in your life will be.  And You don’t NEED to know what that next level even looks like.  You can let it emerge as you look at what is the very next right action. 

Ask yourself right now-- in that area of your life that you want to make a change-- what is the very next step?  Sit quietly and let that answer come to you. 

The first thing you thought of-- go with that!  That’s your intuitive knowing.  And some of you might be questioning that-- “no that’s not right”-- that’s just your Inner Critic voice that is steering you away from discomfort.  Your Authentic Self knows exactly what is the next action;  And so many people don’t know how to sit with their discomfort,  and trust their inner selves, so they are always avoiding anything that will bring up discomfort.  So they want to create a dream career, or meet the love of their life, or get into shape, or write the book, or whatever their goal is-- but they won’t allow themselves to sit in the discomfort that is inevitably a HUGE part of designing that life. 

That is how I got to where I am-- not because I knew exactly what I was going for-- I really didn’t--.  I have been sitting in my discomfort over and over again, and just taking the next action--  And I have shared with all of you in previous podcasts, many of those actions didn’t turn out to be what I thought-- I have had business partnerships that didn’t last.  I have had projects that I put a lot of effort into that went nowhere. 

But as Newton says, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction-- in other words, all action moves you forward.  Even if it doesn’t work out, it still moves you forward.   The first program I created wasn’t even close to being as powerful as the one I lead now--the journey to be where I am now was built step by step.  And once you have begun to see the success from your actions, you will inevitably reach a threshold where you start to itch for the next level.   

So as I am looking toward my goals for 2021, and that involves creating a certification program to train people to teach my MIND method, it feels quite overwhelming.  I am just in the stage of thinking about what’s next.  And when I start taking the actions to get there, it will create more upheaval and turmoil, uncertainty and doubt. 

Think about what that big goal is for you---Is this an area where you lose your sense of confidence in yourself?  And therefore, do you avoid that goal altogether because it feels too uncomfortable? 

It is amazing how you can create success with your actions, and you believe “once I get to that level, I will finally feel like I have reached the top of the mountain” and although that success feels really good, your Authentic Self starts to the itch for the next stage of growth, and it feels once again like you are standing on shaky ground, and you’re at the bottom of the next mountain, and it can even feel like parts of life are falling apart.  But if you KNOW that this is just what comes with a life where you are committed to growing and evolving to the next level, you can remember that this is the price you pay for going for your dreams. 

And the truth is, not listening to that Inner YOU also ridiculously uncomfortable.  And I for one, would rather be ridiculously uncomfortable while I am allowing my Authentic Self to guide my life, than staying stuck in the discomfort of listening to my Inner Critic keep me safe by not going for my dreams. 

I have supported hundreds of people to create the life of their dreams in business, relationships, parenting, weight, overcoming anxiety, increasing confidence, you name it-- and that is because whatever you REALLY want in your life, what stops you from getting it is your automatic Inner Critic mind convincing you that in some way you aren’t good enough to make it happen, or the what if scenarios creep in like what if you are rejected or judged, or you fail--- and then you don’t take the actions that will make it happen because your Inner Critic convinces you that it’s unbearable to feel that. 

But guess what-- it’s not unbearable.  A feeling is not ever going to kill you-- If you look at how far you’ve already come in life, you can see that you’ve been through this before.  You’ve felt like you weren’t good enough before, and you got through it.  You failed, you’ve been rejected, you have been criticized or judged or had something not go your way.  You battled it, and you triumphed over it.  And now, you’re at the next level.  I am at the next level, and with that comes feeling uneasy again. 

I love this quote from Steven Covey-- he says, “We control our actions, but the consequences that flow from those actions are controlled by principles.” 

That's like Newton's law of motion I mentioned.  With every new stage of growth comes that uneasiness--it’s almost like you regress.  I’ve got childhood wounds coming up all of the time now, feeling like I am not good enough, harping on every mistake, losing my sense of confidence, drumming up scenarios that are only invented in my own mind.  I sometimes don’t feel like myself because as I look to the next big goal that is way outside of my comfort zone,  I don’t have that same sense of power that I had.  But I was here before, when I was creating my first program.  And then I mastered it and I felt powerful.  So what I know is that I will keep taking actions, and I will get to the next level, and I will feel powerful again and be at a whole new level in my life.  And all I have to do is just keep taking the next action--step by step by step. 

I think within all of us there is a fear of success that is lurking inside of us. 

Nelson Mandela said that "our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” 

Your Inner Critic wants to keep you from climbing the next mountain.  But your AS, the part of you that is below your Inner Critic, that part of you already knows that you WILL keep going for your dreams.  Your As is already resolved to it-- it’s a done deal.  You know it’s happening.  It’s like you’re being pulled.  

This is where we need to keep trusting that we can sit in that discomfort, and take the next action-- that is what will  dissolve the parts of ourselves and our lives that are no longer a fit for the new self and the new life that wants to emerge.  And if we can sit in that discomfort of not knowing where life is leading us, we can flow with where it is taking us and trust that we will be ok.  You will reach that new level and you will be a more evolved version of yourself.  You’ll become more competent, successful, and confident. Your interactions with other people will be far deeper and more meaningful.  You will begin to attract people to you who are solely interested in growth.  You will be guided more by your AS, and have more clarity about the direction you are headed in.  You will face bigger challenges and responsibilities than you have ever experienced before, and the more your life demands of you, the more you will be able to deliver. You will rise higher than you ever thought possible. 

If you just keep taking action, despite feeling like your world is falling apart, and you’re questioning everything and wondering whether you are on the right path, you will continue to rise up.  And you may need to up your game with self care.  You may need to meditate more, to talk to God more, and be unattached to where your actions are leading you.  And sometimes you will even question that-- “where is all of this even going?”  And if you stay on your path, and keep taking the next action, and never give up,  that is when all of a sudden you will look back at the journey and realize that your life is better now than it’s ever been before.  That you’re living at a much higher and more powerful level than ever before.  That you have created a different YOU simply by managing your mind and staying in action-- that is the game changer! 

And by the way, I have seen my clients create this in 6 months-- it doesn’t have to take years.  Once you know how to manage your mind and you get in action, you seriously create miracles.  

Is Your Inner Critic Keeping You From Success?

Find out what your Inner Critic is saying to sabotage your success and how you can move past her limiting beliefs. 


50% Complete

Two Step

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.