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How to Become a Different Human

Can't listen? Here's the transcript: 

Hey Dethroners!  Little by little, step by step, I am completely rewiring an entirely new mind every day. 

How am I doing this you ask? Well, I am bringing a moment to moment awareness to the voice of my Inner Critic, and all of my Inner Critic’s demands and expectations about how I am supposed to be, how my life is supposed to be, and how my future is supposed to be.  

I am sitting back and paying very close attention to her voice. I am watching her attachment to security and her discomfort with the unknown. I am realizing that my Inner Critic’s NEED for security, predictability and control has been with me for my whole life.  I am coming face to face with just how much time and energy I have wasted throughout my life, focused on trying to get my life to match my Inner Critic’s ideal pictures. 

I am recognizing that I have wasted a ton of emotional energy in the form of worry, discontent and the experience that my life is lacking something.  That I am not there yet, but I am getting there. Which was a set up to always feel in a chronic state of discontent and worry that life wouldn’t ever fit the ideal. And NOW what I am waking up to is that without the work of DYIC, I would have been destined for a life of never feeling content. 

No matter how good if ever got, my Inner Critic would always find the loop hole of where my life doesn’t quite measure up. I am so grateful that I have surrounded myself with such amazing like minded women who are on this journey with them. Because even though this work is MY creation, I wouldn’t have been able to get out of my own way on my own. 

So it’s kind of ironic that first I needed to create the DYIC method because I had an Inner Critic that ruled my mind. Then, I had to create programs for other women in order for ME to fully rewire my own mind.  Because I had to see myself in the women that are doing the DYIC work right along with me. Only then could I really let go of my Inner Critic’s addiction to power, security, predictability and control. 

I had to continue to build my own muscle to allow life to unfold however it is unfolding, and to continue to love myself unconditionally no matter what happens. I had to literally develop big muscles to no longer try to control and manipulate the world around me so that I can feel calm and centered.  And I continue to develop those muscles every day. 

I have to continually recognize and release any thoughts that hinder my ability to unconditionally love and accept myself and others, even if I don’t agree with their behavior or choices. I have to step back and watch my Inner Critic try to whip up drama because I am personalizing what someone else is doing or saying, or trying to control them or control some other part of my life. 

I am trying to be an impartial witness of my Inner Critic. I watch her drama, which she tries to suck me into every day.  More and more, I am able to witness all of the moments of my life from a deep, calm place inside where I can accept all that is, and all that isn’t. I am able to recognize the abundance that I already have in my life right now. 

I work every day to let go of thoughts that keep me tethered to an experience of wanting or lack. I take action towards my goals but I am no longer as vulnerable to the ups and downs of life. I feel freer than I ever have before. Because I am not expecting all of life to go my way. That’s my Inner Critic’s expectations.  

When I experience emotions like anger or jealousy, I know that is because my Inner Critic is back in control of my mind. I am just a witness, picking up the cues that she is doing her thing again that she has done for my whole life, and she is only acting out the computer programming that she installed when I was a very little girl. I can see more clearly when other people are acting out their Inner Critic’s computer programming too.

So, I don’t get reactive to their drama the way I used to. I am using every part of my life, everything I do and say, as a way to continue to grow toward freedom from my Inner Critic’s addictions to security.  

My Inner Critic does not like all of my new ways of being because I am constantly stepping outside of my comfort zone which means that I am risking failure and rejection on a daily basis. So if you got inside my head and saw all of the drama she is whipping up on a daily basis, it would amaze you. It amazes ME! Because she is not even reacting to anything that is happening in concrete reality. 

In fact, right now my life is getting more and more amazing and fulfilling day by day, and sometimes I am so giddy about it that I can hardly stand it. But then in the very next second, my Inner Critic is telling me, “You know, this could all just go away in a heart beat. And what if it all just stops? Or what if something bad happens? Or what if this is as good as it’s gonna get and then it’s all down hill from here?” 

OMG!!!! It’s like she can’t even allow me to stay in my incredible bliss! She has to drum up fantasies that aren’t even happening in reality! Her programming has kept me sooooo stuck in fear. 

I see how she has been so busy defending against making sure that I appear as successful, competent, a good mom, a good friend, someone worthy of love. But I now see that I am separate from who my Inner Critic demands that I be. When my Inner Critic NEEDS to make sure that I am all of those things, I am trapped and suffocating.  I am on a constant roller coaster, where she keeps saying either, “Look… you’re doing a great job!!” or “you need to do more so that you can be good enough”. And that is such a trap. 

Because if I NEED to make sure that I am all of those things in order for me to really enjoy my life, what happens something goes on in my life that doesn’t fit my Inner Critic”s ideal version of success, competence, being a good mom or good friend or whatever? Then I am screwed. 

Because then I am back down to feeling like I am not good enough and have to figure out how to manage, fix, control, dominate, and coerce my external life to make me feel all of those things. 

I have been on this roller coaster ride for most of my life, ya’ll. And I am on a serious mission to help all of YOU get off this roller coaster ride too! Only when we are free of overly identifying with the roles our Inner Critic’s demand us to play, can we really enjoy the lives we have. 

We can’t take everything so seriously and get caught up in all of the emotion our Inner Critic whips up when she says either we are winning or losing at meeting her demands. But I am not going to lie, that is conscious, deliberate, daily work! My Inner Critic is sooooooo strong, ya’ll!!! So it is moment by moment awareness of her shenanigans. 

And the only way I can have the life I have is knowing how to discriminate between who I really am and who my Inner Critic says I need to be. Because my Inner Critic really demands that I NEED a lot of things that I actually don’t need in order to be happy.  

And of course she does, because she was trained by our culture. How many things does your Inner Critic demand that you need to be happy and your attempts to force those things is what is actually completely blocking you from your happiness? 

I am learning more and more every day about my Inner Critic’s programming and what prevents me from feeling joy, contentment and bliss right now. That is what is available to all of us, right now! Not when we get our Inner Critic’s demands met. If we are NOT who our Inner Critic or our culture says we need to be, if we are not our bodies, our automatic minds, exactly who are we? 

Much of our emotions that we have either been trying to achieve or avoid for most of our lives are the result of our Inner Critic’s demands, expectations, and desires. She has been such a dictator of our minds, that we are being suffocated by her!

For many of you, you have never been able to see who you really are when you are separate from her. I have this visual meditation that I practice every day of sitting in this quiet corner of my mind and just observing her. The beautiful thing is that I don’t spend any energy trying to quiet her, shut her up, or make her disappear. Because she is never ever going anywhere for the rest of my life. She has been saying the same shit for my whole life, and she will continue to say the same shit. That is what is so freeing. I don’t spend any energy making her stop. 

I just choose other thoughts that give me joy, gratitude, abundance and peace right now. I get in touch with what I already have in my life that brings me joy. My Inner Critic focuses on what I don’t have. I choose to focus on what I DO have. And when I focus there, I am instantly connected to a feeling of peace, contentment and gratitude.  

Because from that place, nothing is really a threat. Nothing is an absolute necessity for me to feel good. I can BE with the possibility of people not liking me or agreeing with me. I can BE with something not working out the way I had wanted. I can BE with anything, really. Because it doesn’t mean what my Inner Critic has made it mean for most of my life. I can separate the actual facts of what is happening from the story or the drama that my Inner Critic whips up. 

I am literally reprogramming my mind on a daily basis and teaching all of my clients and group participants how to do this as well. 

I think a new way of thinking is what this planet needs. I think when more people know that the key to becoming an inspired designer of your life is to master your mind, we will be living in a different world! 

And speaking of an inspired designer of your life, I am beyond thrilled to announce that I will be co-leading an incredible retreat on a gorgeous, luxurious private horse ranch in Sonita Arizona, right outside of Tuscon, May 14-17 2020.  I am co-leading it with a woman named Jaime Meyers, who is a brilliant and inspirational life coach with 25 years experience as a thought leader in the world of transformational work. And part of the retreat is using horses (ground only, no riding) to take a deeper journey inside yourself because horses serve as energetic mirrors that reflect patterns of beliefs and behaviors that are blocking you from fully experiencing freedom, joy, gratitude, and abundance in your life. 

So the retreat will be filled with magic, inspiration, incredible growth and transformation, luxury, nature, farm to table amazing meals in this gorgeous setting in the mountains of Arizona. So if this is something you have always wanted to do, to go to a retreat with the most amazing women and to leave as a different human than you were when you arrived, this is sooooo for you!!!! 

Email me at [email protected] for more information.  And make it happen, ya’ll!!!! You deserve this!!!!


Is Your Inner Critic Keeping You From Success?

Find out what your Inner Critic is saying to sabotage your success and how you can move past her limiting beliefs. 


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