What I’ve discovered is that the voice in my head, which is what I call my Inner Critic, was having me look to the outside world - relationships, degrees, achievements, and everywhere but inside myself - to give me my self-worth.
Listening to my Inner Critic resulted in regretting my past, judging and comparing, wanting to be liked by everyone, and trying to fix myself, the people I love, and the world around me to make me feel a sense of being okay. In fact, many of the accomplishments in my life were a direct result of listening to my Inner Critic pushing me to make sure I was “good enough”. The most isolating part was that I hid all of this from myself and my world. Denying the core belief that I just wasn’t good “enough” was exhausting and created so much suffering. No matter how good I became, it was never enough. It was a vicious cycle. And baby, I was spinning in it for years!
The game changer happened when I realized that my Inner Critic wasn’t going to one day magically disappear, no matter how hard I worked to eradicate her. Instead of silencing her or getting rid of her, I could observe her, accept her, and choose to break the habit of letting her sit in the driver’s seat. I realized that my pain and discomfort was an invitation to engage with the process of changing my mindset and my belief systems.